Lovefool

We do the lamest things when we are in love.

Or should I say "in love".

I can think of too many. When I was fourteen, I had a crush on my friend's older brother. I thought nobody knew except me. One day he got back home from somewhere, and I was hanging out in my friend's room. He said his hellos etc and then left. "You're soooo obvious, Aimi!", she said. "What...?", I said, very innocently. It was then revealed to me that every time he walked into the room, I would get really nervous and talk really fast, sometimes really different, sometimes even in a different pitch. I had been none the wiser.

When I was fifteen there was this guy I chatted to a lot on the internet. It was late one night and I was listening to the radio. I had a flash of inspiration and called up the radio station and requested a song. It was Nelly and Kelly Rowland (don't laugh at me!) and since there weren't a lot of callers she wanted to put my call on air. I had already texted the dude to listen out for it. But being put on air totally caught me by surprise, because I was already in bed, and had to keep really quiet because I was supposed to be asleep. Oh it came out so awful on the radio! She kept mishearing me and kept asking me to repeat myself. All I wanted her to do was to play the fricking song! She ended up saying "alright, this is for boy," in the end. The guy probably thought I was a total loser after that, couldn't even get his name right. Oh well.

There was another guy who I really liked, although I hadn't admitted it to myself yet, who I used to hang out with an awful lot. We used to have really lame arguments with each other over tiny things, not angry ones, just silly ones. It was MUCH to the chagrin of anyone who were dumb enough to sit with us and witness this. So much so, that one of my friends who had only sat down with us for 10 mins did what everyone else hadn't and said, "Right, stop acting like children!"
We paused for a second, and continued fighting. Frustrated, she finally snapped, "Stop flirting!"
And we immediately fell silent and looked away.

[edit] But of course such things have long since passed.

I find it very strange that those little moments are just as random and cute as movies make them out to be.

I also find it very funny thinking about why the hell I liked someone in the first place. There was this other guy (not mentioned above) who I don't think about often, but the other day I saw a picture of Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story and realised he looked exactly like him! HA!

Given a conscious decision I would have picked Aladdin instead.

[end of edit]

P.S Scroll down for the missing Watchmen photos!

The Boy On TV

I have to admit that I'm the kind of girl who falls in love with the boy on TV... or in the movies or in the latest music video. I mean, of course I have a certain taste (which not everyone will see eye to eye with) but I am succeptible to falling for what mainstream media has to offer me. And I get terribly starstruck too... no matter who it is, even when I have ranted about how rubbish they are, if I see them in the flesh for some reason I turn to jelly and can barely even manage a "hello".

Like the time when I was 14, I went to High Street Ken with my friends for a little shopping outing, and we wandered into Zara. I remember looking at all the prices of all these uncool plain grown-up clothes (who the hell wears pastel pink?) and not having the funds for them (what the hell... 30 quid for a top?!), when my friend came up to me and said, "Gareth Gates is just over there."

I stared at her blankly. Not knowing whether to believe her, I said, "Even if he really was there, you're really lame, 'cause I don't even like him."

If you're wondering who Gareth Gates is, he's one of the runner's up from the first ever Pop Idol in 2002 (yes the British came up with it first) and is was well known for his spiky black hair, Bradford accent and bit of a stutter. He's now doing panto and the west end, like all other washed up talented people, I didn't think he was all that great (although Simon Cowell did, but then what does he ever know) .

Anyway, back to my story. So my friend just gave me a look and ran to tell somebody else, and I carried on thinking it was a really lame joke and went back to looking at clothes that I could not afford. I then realised my friends had started to crowd round to look at something. I went to them to go tell them that they were being stupid, and the next thing I know I'm standing with a paper with his signature on it, and laughing with my friends at how he pronounces "Amy" (lol, "ayhmeh"). Subsquently we couldn't concentrate on shopping for the rest of the day :P

I have had many encounters that have left me starstruck, and I don't know why, I think I'm just a sucker for celebrity hype. I've lusted after many a singer (Brandon Boyd) and actor (mmm Keanu Reeves, Milo Ventimiglia) but there are some crushes that I will get SO worked up over. And usually these are the ones that other people never seem to agree with me. When I was 16 I queued up at 8am in the morning to get a wristband for a Busted signing at Virgin Megastores. I spent so long looking forward to it that when I came to meet them I didn't know what to say to them. I was gutted!

'Tis the fun of being a teenage girl. I have many embarrassing crushes, but these shall not be exposed here :P

One of my crushes has included Robert Pattinson when he was in HP4 (*sob* Cedric *sob*) and I was raging I wouldn't be able to see him on screen again. Then along comes Twilight and all these fangirls are squeeing over his paleness, asking him to bite them, and whatnot. As dashing as I thought he was, I can't seem to jump onto this bandwagon. Oh if I could squee too, I would. But I can't do it.

What does this meannn??? No more squee-ing??? I'm getting old :(

The Underground

The other day when I was on my way to see Mona and the girls, I was sitting on the Bakerloo line tube to get to Embankment, listening to my music, minding my own business. A man sits next to me. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him mouthing something at me. I hastily pull my earphones out and ask him to repeat what he said. He asks me if he’s going to right way to get to somewhere or another.

‘Yes,’ I reply. A couple of minutes later, he continues to talk to me.

‘Where are you from, you look a bit oriental.’

‘I’m Malaysian, but I’m from London.’

‘I’m not used to the city, it’s all really confusing. I’d much rather be here,’ he says, pointing to a travel guide in his hand. I look closer. The Lake District.

‘Look at that. Beautiful. Doesn’t compare. If I go to a different country I want to see the real country, not all these cities that everyone goes to.’

‘Yeah, it’s all the same I suppose.’

‘Yeah but it’s not just that, they’re all cesspits aren’t they? I mean they’re all stuck in this city and they don’t know anything about the heritage of the country. I mean you ask anyone to name all six wives of Henry VIII and they can’t do it.’

…did he just say I was underbred? Funny thing was, I had just flicked through a book I read when I was a kid about Henry VIII the DAY BEFORE, and I was pretty sure I DID know Henry VIII’s wives, but for some reason I felt more strongly about refusing to participate than I did about having to prove his cesspit theory wrong.

‘Er…it’s been quite a while since I did history.’

‘Ah.’ Awkward silence.

‘Have you been to anywhere like this?’

‘I’ve been to Dartmoor actually. Haven’t been as far as the Lake District.’

‘That’s nice.’

Embankment. ‘My stop,’ I said, getting up as fast as I could.

‘Bye.’

A week later I’m counting on my fingers:

Catherine of Aragon

Anne Boleyn

Jane Seymour

Anne of Cleves

…

…

shit.

Where’d that book go…?

Innocence Is a Virtue

Today I met up with a very old friend. A friend who I hadn't seen in about 12 years. He used to be a playground chum, I have a lot of memories of playing with him during playtime. It was very strange to see him, because even though it had been so long, I found it quite easy to find things to talk about. Maybe it is because a lot has happened since we were 6 years old, or maybe because there was a reason we got on so well as kids.

He seems the same friendly guy I remember. Of course 12 years can change a person, and from what I hear other people from that primary school have changed a lot. Although, being 6 years old, you can't pick up everything about how a person will turn out to be, and I only knew them all for a couple of years. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

There's a reunion on friday, and quite a few people are going to turn up, but I can't go because of Sabah's Bengali Night thing. I was really looking forward to seeing them all again, see how they turned out. I had really good (and bad) times at that school, and so many faces I will never forget for the rest of my life.

We spoke for a good hour or so. About the times we had passed with and without each other, about the present, about our futures. There is always this fear that once you meet someone after so long it's like having to meet and get to know them all over again, because there is so much you have yet to catch up about them, and after 12 years, you may as well be meeting them for the first time, because thats two thirds of our lives right there. But it really felt like two old friends catching up.

While we were just talking about what we remembered of other people, he indulged me in a bit of a revelation: he was my first kiss at 6 years old. Six years old!! Imagine!! I knew I used to hang around with him a lot, but I thought I would remember something like that.

I remember being very fond of him. I remember playing games with him in the playground under the school. But there is this one memory, while we're playing a game and trying to prevent ourselves from being Tagged or something, where I remember thinking: he'll protect me. Sooo cheesy right? But how could I feel something like that at 6 years old??? When I had memories of those times I thought I must have had a crush on him and that was all, I had no idea we had something going on =P

It's making me smile inside haha. Such innocent love! I was recently having this regret that what I thought was my first kiss wasn't such an innocent or happier time. Which is what it should be. It should make you smile and remember.

Now it does =)