Limbo

Having jumped the hurdle of first year and teetering on the edge of the second, I was hoping that this time of transition would be something of use to me. Instead, I'm hovering between yesterday and tomorrow, feeling the same way day in and day out, simply willing the days and hours and minutes and seconds to move on.

 

I feel I'm caught stuck in the middle of nowhere. In limbo, just waiting. Waiting for some inevitability to happen that I can't even yet predict.

 

Here, there is nothing. No science, no progress, not even a way back to the start. The things I wanted to do, and be, and feel are not going to be accomplished here.

 

The worst thing is, this applies to nearly every aspect of my life at the minute.

 

I feel sick. Sick of what I lost, and what I still don't have.