There is rarely a person I will meet who I will end up disagreeing with so much that I won't be able to stand them. In fact, even with my critical nature (and my tendency to stay mad at someone for long periods of time) I do end up seeing more good than bad in people, and in my history of coming to know a great many idiots and losers, I have only permanently refused to see eye to eye with only one.
This post isn't really about him, but I do find it strange that he is the only person who I had to resort to not speaking to in order for there to be peace. I still don't speak to him to this day. It's a lot better everyone that we don't lol. For me not to speak to someone is a rarity. I used to have a 3 day rule, where if I was still thinking about how mad I was on the third day, I'd consider to calling them/speaking to them just to break off any bad feelings. It usually worked so that I never stopped purposely speaking to someone for longer than three days, and I'd get over it faster (usually because I realised I was being lame for getting worked up over it).
I've been brought up in the UK, and while to be British requires you to be quite open to other people's ideas and cultures, since I've come to Imperial I've had to break down all my barriers in order to get to know people. It's not that I'm racist, or uninformed, it's just that everyone who had been around me before I started uni had imprinted all their ideas of the world onto me, attached certain stigmas, if you will, to things in the world I had no idea about yet.
I have tried not to fall into that trap. To caution against others based on other people's perception of them. I often throw caution to the wind in that respect, and make up my own mind about them. This requires a fair degree of tolerance, and patience, where I find some of my friends would quickly jump the gun and refuse to pay much more attention due to some aspect of their personality that they find offensive and undesirable for some reason. Everybody has flaws. That doesn't mean they're not worth knowing.
As hard as I try to look into people hearts, nobody seems capable of doing the same. And all I see is people misunderstanding each other and not trying hard enough to look past what's in front of them instead of judging what's been fed to them.
Truth be told however, sometimes the verdict is to agree with the general consensus that somebody is a complete and utter weirdo that needs to be treated with some caution. Or that any prejudices that people hold against them are not completely unfounded. At least I can say I made an informed judgement. Some of my benefit of the doubt and goodwill has been stepped on quite a few times lately, it has to be said. To those people, shame on you.
That leaves the question of: Is it really worth it? Well, it's not a question of whether am I going to stop being the kind of person I am, but perhaps, people are right to have a shorter tolerance of others? When you spot a flaw, is it simply destined to propagate into something bigger? Something you instinctively don't want in someone you later might want to trust? Or someone who you may later find becomes your good friend? Surely everyone deserves a little credit for being somewhat of a decent human being? Are you going to judge everybody who just so happens to be born into a culture that disagrees with yours?
Or are those stigmas right after all? Should we always proceed with caution after what we hear? Should we just save ourselves the trouble and stick to what we know? Remain under the illusion that what is out there is not desirable at all anyway. You like the way you are, and you think it's fine if nothing changes, even if it is a miserable and lonely existence to live under your shell.
I have yet to reap all the fruits (the good and rotten ones) of having an extended tolerance. Having an open mind means you're open to change, which is good, depending on the kind of change. But at least if your mind is closed you know what you want for sure, even when it comes to people, unfair and prejudiced as that may seem. All I know for now is that taking a chance on something you're not sure about can certainly change the way you see things forever. If you never change then you will never know.
This post isn't really about him, but I do find it strange that he is the only person who I had to resort to not speaking to in order for there to be peace. I still don't speak to him to this day. It's a lot better everyone that we don't lol. For me not to speak to someone is a rarity. I used to have a 3 day rule, where if I was still thinking about how mad I was on the third day, I'd consider to calling them/speaking to them just to break off any bad feelings. It usually worked so that I never stopped purposely speaking to someone for longer than three days, and I'd get over it faster (usually because I realised I was being lame for getting worked up over it).
I've been brought up in the UK, and while to be British requires you to be quite open to other people's ideas and cultures, since I've come to Imperial I've had to break down all my barriers in order to get to know people. It's not that I'm racist, or uninformed, it's just that everyone who had been around me before I started uni had imprinted all their ideas of the world onto me, attached certain stigmas, if you will, to things in the world I had no idea about yet.
I have tried not to fall into that trap. To caution against others based on other people's perception of them. I often throw caution to the wind in that respect, and make up my own mind about them. This requires a fair degree of tolerance, and patience, where I find some of my friends would quickly jump the gun and refuse to pay much more attention due to some aspect of their personality that they find offensive and undesirable for some reason. Everybody has flaws. That doesn't mean they're not worth knowing.
As hard as I try to look into people hearts, nobody seems capable of doing the same. And all I see is people misunderstanding each other and not trying hard enough to look past what's in front of them instead of judging what's been fed to them.
Truth be told however, sometimes the verdict is to agree with the general consensus that somebody is a complete and utter weirdo that needs to be treated with some caution. Or that any prejudices that people hold against them are not completely unfounded. At least I can say I made an informed judgement. Some of my benefit of the doubt and goodwill has been stepped on quite a few times lately, it has to be said. To those people, shame on you.
That leaves the question of: Is it really worth it? Well, it's not a question of whether am I going to stop being the kind of person I am, but perhaps, people are right to have a shorter tolerance of others? When you spot a flaw, is it simply destined to propagate into something bigger? Something you instinctively don't want in someone you later might want to trust? Or someone who you may later find becomes your good friend? Surely everyone deserves a little credit for being somewhat of a decent human being? Are you going to judge everybody who just so happens to be born into a culture that disagrees with yours?
Or are those stigmas right after all? Should we always proceed with caution after what we hear? Should we just save ourselves the trouble and stick to what we know? Remain under the illusion that what is out there is not desirable at all anyway. You like the way you are, and you think it's fine if nothing changes, even if it is a miserable and lonely existence to live under your shell.
I have yet to reap all the fruits (the good and rotten ones) of having an extended tolerance. Having an open mind means you're open to change, which is good, depending on the kind of change. But at least if your mind is closed you know what you want for sure, even when it comes to people, unfair and prejudiced as that may seem. All I know for now is that taking a chance on something you're not sure about can certainly change the way you see things forever. If you never change then you will never know.
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