Fascination

Whenever you have a problem, do always go through all the different solutions and then finally end up resigning to the one idea you first thought of?

I do this too often, then I forget I had those other ideas in the first place, and then end up sticking with what I've got.

I do have more profound things to say, but this has been the theme of the first two weeks back at uni. Oh the joys of making life choices and having a brain like mine that thinks too much. Bloody life choices. I'm not afraid of wasting a year, because I never feel like anything is a 'waste', since you always gain something out of any experience, whether it be good or bad. Regret is something I am not fond of feeling, so I don't feel it any more. But clearly there are good decisions and bad decisions. At times I wish I wasn't attached to particular people, (and perhaps a little more well off) just so that I could make the selfish decision of going off into wider world to make my mark in places where the sun shines more and life is much simpler and doing things that aren't dull and dreary and wearing a coat most of the year.

The world is so immense, there's so much to see, and there's so much worth doing that nobody chooses to do. We all complain that the world is falling apart at the seams, that it's no longer a friendly place, that we're at the brink of our own destruction. Sounds melodramatic and slightly sci-fi, but not as far removed from the truth as you may think. There are things that I feel is my duty to do, being an able-bodied and capable young person. Although all these things are far bigger than one individual, many people choose to comment on it, as if they know they way the world SHOULD work, but when it comes to action do nothing beyond their own rut of life to make things any better for anyone. I'm not saying I am currently working on the ultimate masterplan to change the world in my spare time, but where I feel I can make some contribution, I will.

But such is life. We all have things that inhibit us, all of us. Although, being further removed from people I care about tends to lead to me making ridiculous decisions. So maybe, it's a good thing I have people to ground me. For now.


[Afterthought]
Having said that, I've been told I value my friends too much. Why is it such a bad thing that I care about people? Forgive me for I'm about to sound new-age and hippy now you big grumps: but the world would be a better place if we were all willing to hold love in our hearts. Methinks that many of you do not value your friends ENOUGH.