The Truth About Forever

There are people who appear in my life, who I will love with all my soul for one shining moment. They don't tend to know it, because it is usually something that remains unsaid. It never makes any sense at the time, it never listens to any reason. With every person who means something to me there is one moment where I feel absolute and uncompromisable love. It's at that moment that their presence will forever be seared into my memory; it's at that moment they become immortal to me.

For any of you who are reading this, I may have once loved you in this way. I may not have said it, because it would have not made sense. Or I didn't need to. People think that all such happiness is ephemeral; that it does not deserve dwelling upon. I think it lasts a lot longer than that.

As long as that moment is committed to memory, its existence will be truth, and that truth will last forever.

Time Please?

I get really aggravated when people put me under the pretence that they will spare time for me, and then don't.

I have this annoying tendency to drop everything and be there at a moment's notice for the little things, just because I think that whoever has asked me would appreciate me being there. Things like presents and birthdays and christmases mean absolutely nothing if you can't even make simple time for your friends.

I'm not the kind of person with the world of time on my hands. My best friend who has to make appointments with me will attest to that. I'm just the kind of person that makes time; albeit only a small portion of time for everyone. I actually feel really bad when I'm so hard up for time or energy that I have to say no. And I feel worse having to cancel - I don't do it unless that I am 100% certain it can be postponed without missing out on too much.

Why make plans or promises without having the balls to commit to them? I don't know. If you say you're going to do something, then do it. If you need something finished then get your head in gear and finish it. If uni has taught me ANYTHING, it's that floundering and uncertainty gets you nowhere. Nothing will happen on a 'maybe'. It really is that simple.

I fear that this will be another hospitable trait of mine that will soon be extinct; along with the superhuman tolerance I used to have that breathed its last late last year. (The conclusion I came to a few months after that post was that if I think someone is a wasteman to begin with, the chances are they definitely are, c.f. jjb, tb, fz, mb)

Absent

People can say they will be your friend, and the good memories you had will be something you both share for always. You can hold love in your heart for them forever. But once their gone, they're gone. They're not there.

You can't make up for the fact that you're not there.

Paper Planes Again.

Well this stone that I have swallowed
Isn't going down so well
And this road that I have followed
Is leading me to Hell

And you said it didn't matter
But I think you're a liar
Is this one of your talents
That stokes the very fire that burns you
Each time you try to live

And the earth will turn below you
The pressure is building
And something has to give
Oh something has to give

And when I build you a steeple
You say it's incomplete
'Cause you need the whole cathedral
To satisfy the need

And you're like a paper aeroplane
That never seems to land
Flying blind through anything
Straight into the hand that chokes you
Each time you try to live

And the earth will turn below you
The pressure is building
And something has to give
Oh something has to give